Pt.1 Double Masectomy

Pt.1 Double Masectomy

DOUBLE MASTECTOMY: WENT TO SLEEP STAGE 0, WOKE UP STAGE 2

When I think of my life, I see it in three parts:

  1. Pre-Cancer – Cancer was something I never worried about, thinking, "That could never happen to me!"
  2. The Year of Pure Hell – "Oh f*&%! It's happening to me!"
  3. Aftermath – Learning to live with my new "normal," which is still an everyday struggle, even as I write this.

Pre-Diagnosis Thoughts

Before my diagnosis, I used to say that if I ever got cancer, I’d want a double mastectomy without hesitation. This is something many women say casually—until they’re actually faced with the reality of the decision. When my doctor told me that removing my left breast was the best option, it shattered me. But deciding to remove my right breast, the healthy one, was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

The Emotional Impact

I honestly thought having my breasts removed was something I’d never overcome. As a married woman, I wondered, "How could my husband still find me attractive? How would I ever look at myself in the mirror? Would I still feel sexy and feminine?" I had placed so much value on my breasts as a part of my identity that I didn’t give myself enough credit for what truly made me me—my outlook on life. Even in the darkest moments, I found ways to see beauty or humor in the situation.

The Surgery and Recovery

I won’t pretend that having a double mastectomy was easy. The surgery lasted eight hours, and the recovery was grueling. I remember waking up surrounded by the sweetest nurses comforting me as a sobbed looking down at my bandages. It took me weeks to look at myself, and immense inner strength to get through each day. It’s been two and a half years since my surgery, and I still need another procedure to finalize my reconstruction.

Advice for Others

For anyone facing this surgery or struggling with post-mastectomy feelings, I offer this advice: Give yourself time—time to heal, time to accept your new reality. We live in a world that demands instant results, but your body and mind need patience. You have to grieve the loss of your breasts. It may sound strange, but it’s important. With time, I’ve accepted my new look, and honestly, I love my smaller breasts. My scars are a reminder of something terrible, but they also show me how amazing my body is and how far I’ve come in my healing journey.

For Supporters

If you’re reading this because you know someone going through a mastectomy, here’s some crucial advice: Do not say, “You’re getting a free boob job/lift!” This is not helpful! A boob job is an elective surgery, while a mastectomy is about survival. The best thing you can say is, "I’m by your side, no matter what."

Day of Surgery Must-Haves:

  1. Comfortable, easy-to-wear clothes (I wore a black pajama set and brought a light robe).
  2. Slip-on shoes like slides.
  3. Phone charger.
  4. Glasses if you wear contacts.
  5. Toothbrush and toothpaste if staying overnight.

Recovery Checklist:

  1. A comfy robe.
  2. Button-up pajamas.
  3. Mesh drain holders for the shower.
  4. Drain holder for everyday use.
  5. A recliner (makes recovery much easier!).
  6. Seatbelt cushion.

Gift Ideas for Someone Recovering:

  1. Any of the recovery items listed above.
  2. Food delivery or gift cards for food services.
  3. Hire someone to help clean their home for a day.
  4. Your time—visit them when they’re ready for company.
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